Tuesday, January 20, 2004
Hey you…
Madonna…shhhh. You stupid.
Michael Jackson…please. Just, please. Can you stop now?
JC Chazes…Some girls dance with women, but you are not one of them.
Paris Hilton…I don’t care what people say, you ARE a supermodel.
Britney Spears…Time for another break? You look really tired. How bout a napski?
Mayor Bloomberg…For somebody so filthy rich, you talk like you have a mouth full of testicles.
Pizza…mmmm…I could never stop loving you.
Joe Rogan…if it weren’t for your body, you would have nothing positive to offer to society.
Ryan Seacrest…the Next Dick Clark? Boo WAAAAAH HAHAHAHAHAHA! nah.
Christina Aguilera…I don’t give a shit that you’re dirty. Bitch, you can SING.
Real World/Road Rules Challenge…congrats to Road Rules on the win! You deserved it this time around. Fer sho!
American Idol…I hope something really cruel and sad happens to you. Fucking go away already. You deserve to be punched in your cunt.
Justin Timberlake…sexy motherfucker. Stop being so damn sexy. Sexy + So Sexy = Sexy You.
Ashton Kutcher…Butterfly Effect? Are you a real actor now? I don’t want you to be, k?
Jason Maraz…Oh Razzy. You make-a me swoon. Sing for me baby.
Nick Lachey…yum.
Jessica Simpson…dum.
Ming Na…when you went back to China, no one missed you. Can you stay there?
Da Band…twat happen? Did you all go back to popping off your gats and dealing the druggles? Puffy can only bring you so far.
J-Lo…are you still eating your boogers? Good protein…or so I here.
Beyonce…sexy. And you don’t eat boogers.
Nell Carter…I still miss you.
Sean Paul…let’s gimme the lie a bot a bota bot.
Hillary Duff…stop doing that crazy dance.
Nick & Aaron Carter…HORK. Hut…hut…hut…HORK!
Jennifer Love Hewitt…You finally took the hint and went to hell like I asked.
Martha Stewart…I genuinely feel bad for you. Your life is poop now, but also very domesticated.
Whoopi…yes, you ARE a big loser.
Joe CuttheShit…I don’t know how to say this, but you are SO cute! Can I have your number?
Madonna…shhhh. You stupid.
Michael Jackson…please. Just, please. Can you stop now?
JC Chazes…Some girls dance with women, but you are not one of them.
Paris Hilton…I don’t care what people say, you ARE a supermodel.
Britney Spears…Time for another break? You look really tired. How bout a napski?
Mayor Bloomberg…For somebody so filthy rich, you talk like you have a mouth full of testicles.
Pizza…mmmm…I could never stop loving you.
Joe Rogan…if it weren’t for your body, you would have nothing positive to offer to society.
Ryan Seacrest…the Next Dick Clark? Boo WAAAAAH HAHAHAHAHAHA! nah.
Christina Aguilera…I don’t give a shit that you’re dirty. Bitch, you can SING.
Real World/Road Rules Challenge…congrats to Road Rules on the win! You deserved it this time around. Fer sho!
American Idol…I hope something really cruel and sad happens to you. Fucking go away already. You deserve to be punched in your cunt.
Justin Timberlake…sexy motherfucker. Stop being so damn sexy. Sexy + So Sexy = Sexy You.
Ashton Kutcher…Butterfly Effect? Are you a real actor now? I don’t want you to be, k?
Jason Maraz…Oh Razzy. You make-a me swoon. Sing for me baby.
Nick Lachey…yum.
Jessica Simpson…dum.
Ming Na…when you went back to China, no one missed you. Can you stay there?
Da Band…twat happen? Did you all go back to popping off your gats and dealing the druggles? Puffy can only bring you so far.
J-Lo…are you still eating your boogers? Good protein…or so I here.
Beyonce…sexy. And you don’t eat boogers.
Nell Carter…I still miss you.
Sean Paul…let’s gimme the lie a bot a bota bot.
Hillary Duff…stop doing that crazy dance.
Nick & Aaron Carter…HORK. Hut…hut…hut…HORK!
Jennifer Love Hewitt…You finally took the hint and went to hell like I asked.
Martha Stewart…I genuinely feel bad for you. Your life is poop now, but also very domesticated.
Whoopi…yes, you ARE a big loser.
Joe CuttheShit…I don’t know how to say this, but you are SO cute! Can I have your number?
